Here’s the thing. I tend to look backward in time. A LOT. Its generally human nature to reevaluate what could have been, but in reality is it necessarily healthy to live in those moments? All the things that made you smile as well as every single ounce of emotional and physical pain felt; is it all worth ripping your hair out knowing that things could have been done differently? With time you gain the knowledge to be a better person. And although that knowledge may better you in the present, nostalgia tends to be a bitch. Why think about your past if all you can say is “Things could have been different if…”? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy now. But a lot of things could have been prevented if I just had done things differently. If we lived in a world where time machines existed, would I have gone back to “right” my wrongs? Or would I be too afraid to jeopardize the happiness that I know now? All I know is - time machines don’t exist. Although it would be amazing to know every single way to fix your past, its not possible. And that’s something you’ll have to live with forever.
The feeling of being casted aside definitely takes a toll on your confidence, let alone your significance. You try to maintain an equilibrium of emotional balance, but regardless how much you try to keep your composure, your mind wanders off into thoughts of negativity. Beating yourself up, you dissect every single negative aspect within yourself, searching for a way to rid your personality of every harmful demon that stands as a threat to society. What ‘s wrong with you? What can you change? As you look into the mirror you tear yourself apart, piece by piece. Everything that makes you an individual all of a sudden is placed on trial. When you try to reassemble yourself into perfection, you can’t help but notice that the puzzle is incomplete. Improvement stands as a constant cycle of disappointment. You remove what’s wrong with you without acknowledging whats right all along. Developing the love for yourself should be the cornerstone to a healthy mentality. Change should be influenced by the person rather than “the people.” Identity should be altered without the influence of another’s opinion. Acceptance and understanding of one’s flaws should be greatly considered. The feeling to place good impression amongst others for personal salvation of happiness should be thrown away. Although possessing the knowledge of these facts gives you guidance, you ask yourself these questions: “How do you go about it? Why is being happy so hard?” The truth of the matter is, being happy comes with tackling what makes you unhappy. Understanding flaws and negative aspects stand significant compared to what makes you happy. Regret Nothing, and take a leap of faith.
To my surprise, Lauren took me out for dinner for our one year anniversary. We may have gone down a bumpy road, but in the end we started new beginning. I owe everything to this girl. She’s done nothing but support me and care for me ever since I’ve met her. She’s waited for me to countless decisions, and she supported me through everything that gets in my way. To be honest, I don’t see myself with anyone else. Thank you my love for an amazing night. I look forward to having many more in the future. <3
So.. To start off, I’m extremely excited to go to Boston with my girlfriend Lauren on Monday! I think what I need is a road trip up to a different city other than New York. The both of us are going to bring our cameras, but it’s okay if we look like tourists, because it’s all about having fun right? I’ve never been out of state with a significant other, but I’m excited, and I’m definitely looking forward to having a good time. We’re staying at the Boston Park Plaza, so I’m feeling pretty fancy right about now. I’m going to be documenting our stay there, so I’ll definitely keep you guys posted. I’m going to have so much fun. I can’t wait to photograph the different people that I meet. I doubt any of my friends will miss me, so now at least let’s see if my family will.. haha, can’t wait!!
omgg u & ur new gf are so cute <3 Shes wayy better than ur ex :D
Hahahahaha stalking my life much? (jk) Thank you, I’m very happy with the person I’m with. I would say its a hell of a lot more than an improvement. But on other terms, who is this? lol this has to be someone that I know
Although people may have obstacles in their lives, eventually they are overcome, and the relief feels way better than expected. Over the course of the past few days, I’ve come to realize that there are still people out there who have more faith in me than others could have ever provided in a lifetime. Ten months ago I made a promise, and looking back at it, that promise eventually came true, and it eventually led me to the person of my dreams. I realize that if I choose to be with someone, I need someone who’s doing something with their lives; who’s talented, and who doesn’t give up on things for every given moment.
Due to the unfortunate actions of others, including myself, everything had been put out into the open. Questions were asked and answers were given, but that didn’t stop me from achieving happiness. I notice people are so stubborn and bitter, that they’d try to take that happiness away for their own satisfaction. But in the midst of it all, I’ve understood one thing; I’ve had someone waiting for me. I’ve had someone for ten months who’d eventually rescue me from the manipulative actions of others. I’ve had a dedicated soul that’s always been there for me. After everything that’s happened, I plan on giving her everything back in return.
I treat people a certain way based on their actions. All I’ve ever wanted was understanding and patience. I know I’ve made mistakes in the past, but if I’m provided with just these two things, my heart is yours forever. Every relationship is different, and I plan on making this one count. Thank you for being my hero. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for simply being you. I love you. 9.20.12